Kyo's Reminder
by 8spunkangel8
Summary: The curse was never broken. Akito never had a change of heart. And despite all of Kyo's and Tohru's and Shishou's efforts, Kyo still ended up locked in a cold, dark room, isolated and alone, save for the servant who brings him his essentials. The rest of the Zodiac is also isolated but with each other. Akito finally got his never-ending banquet. But how long will it last?
1. Reminder

**I'm not usually a fan of single-paragraph formatting, but I thought it helped to set the tone for this one. Other chapters may not use the same formatting, if I continue this, and I only will if people like this chapter, so let me know! Inspired by Mumford & Sons' "Reminder," but not a songfic.**

Kisa is with the others in the dining room when Kyo's servant, the one who brings his food and takes his trash, rushes in, her eyes wild and desperate as she cries for Hatori. There's a sharp knife in her hand covered in blood, only a few small openings in the red liquid that shine brilliantly from the reflected light against the blade. Everyone pauses in their dinner to stare at her and the knife, mouths hanging slightly open. "Hatori, please!" she cries. "It's Kyo!" About half of the Zodiac rise in shock as Hatori, already looking determined, rises as well, saying, "Yuki, Hiro, get some bandages from the infirmary and a gurney just in case and bring them to his room. Haru and Momiji, come with me." The four boys do as they are told, rushing as they follow Hatori and the woman outside. "Wait!" Kagura cries as she runs for the door, Shigure catching her just in time. "Let me go! What's going on?! Is he hurt?!" Her cries are the only sound in the room as the rest of the Juunishi sit in silence. Kisa glances at Akito, seated at the head of the table like always. He is staring out the wide window to his right, hands in his lap, just staring, seemingly deep in thought. It seems like an eternity before Yuki and Hiro rush past the open door to the dining room, each with a tight grip on one end of the gurney, and each with bandages stuffed in his pockets. Yuki is in the front, looking as determined as Hatori had. Kisa wonders if he really hates Kyo as much as he says. Hiro only looks rushed and worried, and she hopes he doesn't see anything that scars him. And then, they're gone, and the rest can only wait once more and listen to Kagura's soft cries as she weeps into Shigure's shoulder. Her comforter's expression is unreadable. Many of the Zodiac move outside, knowing that the door to the dining room opens to the safest trail to the main house's hospital, knowing that Hatori, the others, and whatever is left of Kyo will be making their way down it very soon. Kisa goes outside as well. It's freezing in the dark, winter evening, and as the chill nips at Kisa's straight nose and rosy cheeks, she is thankful for her long sleeves but still aches for a coat. She can't bring herself to venture back inside. Nearly everyone else must feel the same way since they're out here as well. The only ones remaining in the dining room are Akito, still thoughtful, Shigure, still holding Kaura, and that same girl, still too distracted by her own despair to notice that everyone else was allowed to go outside. After several anxious, nearly silent minutes – the only sounds being the wind or the woods or the sobs from inside – Kisa catches sight of a group of people awkwardly hiking down the trail. Yuki is in front, facing forward, carrying the gurney, a hard look on his face. Hiro and Haru are at the back, each carrying one leg of the gurney. Hatori and Momiji are at the sides, their hands pressing down on the torso of the person who lay atop of it. An orange head of messy, unkempt hair lay at Hiro and Haru's end. Kisa's breath catches in her throat. This is really happening. It's really real. Kyo might not make it. As they grow nearer to Kisa, she is able to make out Hatori's pleas. "Don't go to sleep, Kyo, I need you to stay awake, do you hear me? Do not go to sleep, you son of a-" "Oh, my God," Rin mutters beside Kisa. Kisa's breath catches again, and a painful lump forms in her throat as the sight of Kyo's bloody torso comes into view. Hatori and Momiji's hands are covered in the red fluid as they press down on the bandages. Hatori was able to bandage Kyo's arms and shoulders – so many bloody bandages – but Kisa can only assume that Yuki and Hiro didn't bring enough because the doctor and the rabbit are pressing dirty rags on his chest. Kisa wonders if those were the only cloths they could find on hand, if they were the only cloths that Kyo had in that room. As they get closer, Hatori glances around frantically at the Zodiac that are waiting for them. When he sees Kisa, he locks eyes with her, sets his mouth, and says to her, "Kisa, I need you to be strong right now, okay?" Kisa wonders if her incoming tears are really so important to him that he would pause in his focus. "I need you to come with us to the infirmary and keep him awake. Can you do that?" They pause in their walk in front of her, and she stands shell-shocked. _Me?_ "Kisa, I need you to hurry, we don't have much time. You have the most comforting presence of all of us. I need you, Kisa. Hurry up! _He_ needs you." She glances at Kyo. His brow is scrunched together, his lips moving just slightly, almost twitching, as if he's trying to say something important. She glances at Hiro. His eyes are encouraging when he looks at her, but his mouth is set. "Kisa!" Hatori barks. It's so unlike him. "Come here," Hiro says, "In between me and Haru. Just talk to him." Kyo gasps a little as if he's just now feeling the pain, and Kisa rushes behind his head, where Hiro told her to go. "Alright, let's move!" Hatori says, determined once more. As they continue down the trail, Kisa wonders what exactly she's supposed to say, trying her very best to focus only on his face, obsessively ignoring his wounds. "Good luck," Ritsu whispers as they pass. Although she gives no indication that she heard, she appreciates it. "Um…" she mutters. "Just talk to him," Hiro advises beside her. "Keep him awake." "Okay… um, Kyo…"She takes a shaky breath. "Oh, God… Did you do this to yourself?" His face starts to relax. Kisa begins to panic and smacks him lightly on the cheek. No change. She smacks him harder, and his eyes flutter open before drooping again. "Atta girl," Haru says from her other side. She would smile at his approval if the situation were not so dire. "Kyo… Kyo, look at me! Look!" His tired eyes trudge open and stare at her. "Hey…" she tries, "Hi… are you tired?" She thinks she hears him whimper slightly. "Yeah, I bet you are. I bet you're tired of that room. Tired of this life." His eyes begin to droop again and she taps his cheek repeatedly until they open once more. "Can I tell you a secret?" He only stares. She leans down over his head and whispers, "I'm tired of this life, too." Her voice catches, and the tears that were threatening her since she first saw him on the trail finally spill over, a few drops landing on Kyo's cheeks. His eyes turn from tired to agonized as he watches her cry. His mouth opens slightly and she thinks she hears him mutter, "Don't…" She raises her head and looks at him, pained. From the corner of her eye, she sees his hand begin to rise until Hatori smacks it back down before it can get anywhere near to comforting her. Kisa chokes back a sob and takes another shaky breath before stroking his cheek. "It's okay…" she mutters. "Just please stay awake…" Then he tries to say something that she can't make out. "What?" she mutters. "Toh… Tohru…" His eyes flutter closed. "No!" she yelps and smacks him again with more force than she thought she had in her. His eyes go wide for a moment before muttering again, "Tohru… wh… why are… you here?" Kisa is stunned. "Uh…." "Holy crap, he thinks you're Tohru," Haru says. "Um…" "Hey," Momiji says from the side, "if it keeps him awake, go with it." "But… but that's the worst kind of blasphemy!" "Who cares about blasphemy right now, Kisa?" Haru urged, "Just keep the guy awake." "Uh…" Kisa looks down at Kyo. His eyes are closed again. She smacks him once more. He doesn't move. In a moment of desperation, Kisa exclaims, "What does she call him?!" "Kyo-kun," Yuki answers in a steely voice from up front. "Kyo-kun!" Kisa yells as she slaps his face. "Kyo-kun, please, I'm worried about you!" That's not just how Kisa thinks Tohru would feel but how she herself feels as well. His eyes flutter open, and Kisa sighs in relief. "Hi, Kyo-kun." The corners of his mouth turn up. "Hi…" he replies. "Um, Kyo-kun… will you do something for me?" His lips move silently as he tries to say something that looks like, "Anything." "Will you try to stay awake? I want you to stay with me right now, Kyo-kun. I need you to stay with me." His chin moves just the slightest bit, just enough for her to know that he's nodding. "Okay. Okay, thank you." She strokes his hair as the tears start coming once more. When he sees this, his own eyes brim with tears as he mutters, "No… don't…" and Hatori has to smack his hand again. He closes his eyes tight, tight enough that Kisa knows he's not asleep. After a moment, he begins to mutter something else, his lips moving silently. She can't tell what it is this time. But as long as his eyes stay tense and his lips keep moving, she knows he's awake and continues to stroke his hair and his cheeks. As their rescue party continues down the trail, Kisa remembers how intimidated she used to be of him. That seems a bit silly now as she stares down at his pale face with the tears that spilled over running down his temples. His muttering gets just slightly louder until Kisa can pick out a few words here and there. "… find her… light the way… I'm... without her… fade away…" As he grows louder, she realizes he's repeating himself. He grows louder still as if he's gaining strength. She's not sure how that's possible, but it doesn't matter as long as he stays awake. After a few minutes, Kisa knows they should be nearing the infirmary. And Kyo's mutterings get that much louder. A few more rounds of repetition and she – and everyone else – can hear him as clear as day, though he's still quiet. "A constant reminder of where I can find her – a light that might give up the way – is all that I'm asking, for without her I'm lost. Oh, my love, don't fade away."


	2. Therapy

**The title of this chapter comes from the song "Therapy" by All Time Low.**

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Come on, Hatori, you know that."

"I want to hear it from you."

"… Kyo Sohma."

"Can I ask you some questions, Kyo?"

"This is stupid."

"…."

"… I guess so, but I can't promise you any answers."

"That's alright. Let's walk through your daily routine."

"My daily routine? What routine? Go to sleep, wake up, eat, read, write, punch something, go back to sleep. That's my routine."

"What's the very first thing you do in the morning?"

"Whatever I feel like. It's not like a have a schedule."

"What do you usually feel like?"

"Crap."

"Okay."

"What do you keep writing over there? The scribbling of the pen is giving me a migraine."

"I doubt that."

"You're right. It's just irritating the hell out of me."

"You said you read. What do you usually read?"

"Whatever's left on the shelf of that hellhole. I'm almost done. I've gone through all the fiction, and I'm halfway through the nonfiction. There's nothing else to do in there."

"What's your favorite so far?"

"I don't know."

"What are some that you liked?"

"… I guess there was this one that kind of stood out."

"What was that?"

"I don't remember what it's called. It was about this guy – this spy – that could do anything. Like, literally, _anything_. He could sneak in and out of anywhere and no one would know. He could take down six guys at once. He was smart, too, a double-agent. This one time, he was facing the barrel of a gun, and he got away by playing mind games with the dude. It was pretty cool. Why are you smiling like that? Hey, what are you writing? Fine. Don't tell me. I'm sure I'll face the effects of whatever it is later."

"You also said you write. What do you write about?"

"I don't know."

"Kyo, I'm not going to tell anybody. This is completely between you and me."

"Not even Akito? Akito knows everything. At least, people tell him everything."

"I'll tell him the results I draw from this interview, but not specific answers."

"Whatever."

"You don't have to tell me, Kyo. But I think it would be beneficial for you if you did."

"And why's that?"

"Because with every detail, I'm able to make a more accurate conclusion. Although, your refusal is giving me plenty of information in itself…. Glare at me all you want, Kyo. It's not going to change anything."

"I just write whatever I'm thinking, I guess."

"I'm sorry, could you speak up a little?"

"I said, 'I just write whatever I'm thinking.' If you want me to expose my deepest, darkest secrets to you, the least you could do is listen up a bit. Geez."

"What do you usually think about?"

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Different stuff."

"Would you care to elaborate?

"Actually, I would very much care _not_ to elaborate, if you don't mind. Hey, don't give me that look. You lock me up in an isolated room for three years by myself, and now you want to take away my privacy? That's messed up."

"We just talked about this, Kyo."

"Fine. I guess I mostly think about… the woods."

"The woods?"

"Don't look so surprised. That room is surrounded by trees. I think about what it would be like to touch one of them, trying to remember what it felt like. Rough, dry… brittle and strong at the same time, somehow. And the leaves. In the winter, when they're all dry and cracked on the ground, I imagine crushing one up and letting the pieces fall through my fingers. And in the spring and summer, when they're still attached to the trees, I imagine being able to feel those, too, all smooth and… I don't know, hydrated, maybe? I don't know. This is stupid."

"What else do you think about?"

"Stuff."

"Kyo."

"People, I guess."

"What kind of people?"

"What do you mean what kind of people? There are different types of people? I guess there are different _groups_ of people, but _types_? People are just people. I guess. I mean, I don't know. I guess you could say that there are cursed people and not cursed people. Those would be different types. A separating line that neither can cross."

"What are you thinking about now, Kyo? You trailed off a little bit there… Kyo? Is there something you want to talk about?"

"No. Let' move on. What's the next question?"

o.O.o.O.o

Kisa sits on the floor outside the infirmary. She doesn't know why, but she just can't seem to leave. Sometimes Hiro comes to sit with her and talk, but he never mentions what she had to do two nights ago, save for once when he let her know that he was proud of her. Right now, Hatori is inside, giving Kyo an evaluation. She figures that he wants to make sure Kyo is alright enough, not only in body but in mind, to leave the infirmary… to reenter that room. Kisa isn't exactly sure how she feels about that. She never really relished in the thought of the Cat being locked up, never gave it much thought to begin with. It's simply one of those unspoken rules or traditions that would come to pass no matter how much she might think about it or even how much she might hate it – it would still happen. So she never mentions it and tries not to think about it, even as she herself and the rest of the Zodiac are locked up, too, in a way. They aren't kept in an isolated room, but they aren't allowed to leave Sohma House, and it's pretty much understood that she and everyone else should stay in the Chambers of the Zodiac.

Hatori has been in there for a long time. Kisa wonders what kinds of questions he's asking. Will he really be able to tell if Kyo is stable by asking a few questions? She's not sure she would be stable at all after going through everything that Kyo's been going through his whole life. As much as she hates what he did to himself, she doesn't blame him. She would want to die, too.

o.O.o.O.o

"Where did you get the knife?"

"Are you kidding me? The same way everything in that room makes its way inside. You gave it to me. It came with the cold steak and potatoes I had for dinner. It's a good thing I had that knife, too, or I never would have gotten that undercooked slab of meat small enough to eat. I was hungry… Hmph. You're not gonna give me knives with dinner anymore, are you?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Kyo. Probably not. Ever."

"Well. I guess I'll just have to find some other way to get the job done, huh?"

"Is that a joke?"

"Maybe. Kind of. I don't know."

"Kyo. Please, answer me clearly and truthfully. When you inflicted those wounds on yourself, were you trying to die?"

"…I don't know."

"Kyo, please."

"I don't. I really don't know. I didn't plan it, really. It's not like I woke that morning and thought, 'Hey, I think I'm gonna kill myself today.' And it all happened so fast. I guess at some point, I was okay with dying. But really, I was just trying to distract myself."

"Distract yourself? From what?"

"From everything. From life. From my life before, my life my now, and whatever my life may become. Like it's gonna change at all."

"You know, Kyo, that's why people cut their wrists. They say the physical pain outweighs the emotional pain. But what you did was much more than that. All up and down your arms, your shoulders. Your torso will likely be scarred for the rest of your life. Look at yourself. You whole top half looks like a mummy."

"Not my head."

"And thank God for that."

"I don't know. Maybe subconsciously, I did want to die. Maybe I felt like that was the only escape from that place. Like that was the only way I would ever get out… Why are you looking at me like that? What, are you pitying me? I don't need your pity, Hatori."

"I know you don't. And I'm not giving it to you. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"I'm the one who's supposed to be asking the questions here."

"Yeah. And I asked you one. The polite thing to do would be to answer it."

"I think we're done here. I have all I need. I want to keep you here for the next few days, if that's alright."

"Hey, before you go, Hatori, I wanted to ask… Can I go outside?"

"Are you kidding?"

"No, I don't mean _outside_, outside. I'm not stupid. I just mean, like, on the other side of this window. Can I go outside?"


	3. First Breath After a Coma

**Today's chapter title is brought to you by the song "First Breath After a Coma" by Explosions in the Sky. C'est un bon chason. :3**

The window is huge. It takes up the whole wall. He can see practically everything outside. He even has to shift his head to catch it all because his line of sight is too narrow. He wonders if every once in a while he should do something crazy if only for this view. Now only to get on the other side of the glass. Hatori said he'll ask Akito, but that doesn't mean anything. If only he could lay in the dirt and grass and leaves for a while, to feel their touch again. What he wants most in the world isn't that – his wish is much bigger and much better – but for now, he would love to be outside. Just for a while.

Haru is standing guard this morning, babysitting. Of course, "standing guard" is a loose term since he's really sitting in a wooden chair by the door, his ankle resting on his other knee, reading some book Kyo has never heard of. It's been so long since he last saw Haru. Did he grow? It looks like he grew. They would both have to stand up for Kyo to be sure. He still wears an excessive amount of accessories. Kyo never understood that. Don't they weigh him down? What, does he just want to stand out? Surely, his hair would take care of that.

"Are you staring at me?"

Kyo quickly looks back to the window. There's a moment of silence in which he still feels Haru's eyes in him. He steals a quick glance at the ox.

"You're staring at me now."

"I know."

Another moment of silence. A moment of _awkward_ silence – on Kyo's side at least.

"Stop it." Another glance. Another pause.

"You need a haircut."

Kyo looks at him straight on now. "Excuse me?"

"It's too long. It's shaggy and unwashed and gross-looking. I stand by my prior statement."

Kyo's mouth drops a little in surprise and confusion. "You really want to talk about my hair?"

"No. I want to cut it. Weren't you listening?"

Kyo sighs and stares out the window. "Well, sorry all I have are some rusty scissors to chop it off with when it gets annoying."

Haru sits for a moment, thinking. He stands up, sets his book down, and pokes his head out the door just as a servant-girl passes in a rush. He stops her and asks something. She shakes her head, looking very apologetic as if his request was second only to something of much greater importance. Haru nods. The servant continues her brisk walk down the hall. He opens the door wide and leans against the frame, his arms crossed, waiting.

He stands there for a good fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. Kyo can't imagine what he's doing – or trying to do, rather. Surely this isn't about his hair. It is not that big of a deal. Although, a good washing would be really nice right about now. He only has running water three days a week in that room, and a scarce amount of it. He often has to choose between clean hair and body or a flushed toilet. Would he rather sacrifice his cleanliness or his nostrils? He often has to remind himself that he at least _has_ a toilet. He doesn't know what he would do without one.

Haru glances up and down the hall. He stands up straighter suddenly and motions for whomever he saw to come closer. Kyo is beyond surprised when she comes into view.

It's Kisa.

Haru tells her something that merits her to glance at Kyo, her eyes wide. She seems nervous. Haru says something else. Whatever it is, it must convince her because she nods. Haru follows her inside the hospital room.

"I'll go get some scissors," he proclaims. "We can wash your hair in the bathtub in there." He gestures to the door of the restroom at the other end of the room. "And even if your bandages get wet, you're probably due for a change anyway. I'll be right back." And with that, he leaves.

Due for a change? "He makes it sound like I'm a baby with a crappy diaper," Kyo mutters, mostly to himself. He looks at Kisa. Her eyes are downcast, stuck to the floor like bean paste to a rice ball. "Hey, have you gotten taller?"

She looks up. "Um…"

"That's okay. I can tell you have."

This is awkward. This is so awkward. Why is she so uncomfortable? It's making Kyo uncomfortable. She always seemed timid around him, but this is ridiculous. When will Haru be back?

"Um…" Kyo looks up at the sound of her small voice. When his eyes meet hers, though, she glances away and shuts her mouth.

After a few moments, Kisa sucks in a breath and asks quickly, "Do you remember coming here?"

Kyo blinks. "You mean, like, to this room?"

Her lips are pursed in a hard line, but she separates them for a fraction of a second to let out a quick, quiet, "Yes."

"Not really. I guess I was pretty out of it 'cause all I remember is this dream I had."

"About onee-san?"

Her voice is as quiet as a breath, but he hears her nonetheless.

She gasps. "Oh, I – no – I'm sorry, I – "

Both of their eyes are wide when Haru walks in with a pair of scissors and a bottle of shampoo.

o.O.o.O.o

"Seriously, dude, that is gross," Haru says from above Kyo's head. "We're going to end up using the whole bottle."

The three of them are in the bathroom now, Kyo bent forward over the side of the tub, the crown of his head in the water. While his top half is a mummified mass of white bandages, a few bloodstains showing through, his bottom half is still covered with the maroon kimono that they gave him when he grew out of his other clothes, the upper-part hanging at his sides, secured by a wide, dark cloth belt.

"Well, sometimes, I would rather have that room smell nice than be squeaky clean. Trust me, I bathe when I can." Kyo's voice is muffled by the thick plastic of the tub. His head bobs as Kisa grinds the soapy shampoo into his orange hair. After he discovered the searing pain that rips through his arms and sides when he raises his arms too high, he and Haru employed Kisa's shampooing skills. While she wonders why Haru was hesitant to so do himself, she says nothing and just scrubs. She doesn't really mind much.

A little while later, Kyo is sitting in the same wooden chair that Haru was in earlier, moved into the middle of the bathroom floor. He waits cross-legged and as motionless as possible with a towel draped around his shoulders, Haru and the mirror to his left, the tub on his right, and Kisa clipping behind him.

"Are you sure about this?" Kyo asks.

"I told you," Haru assures him, "Kisa is our resident beautician. She started with Hiro, and now none of us will trust our hair to anyone else."

"If you say so," Kyo concedes. He watches from the corner of his eye as bits and pieces of bright, freshly-washed orange float down to the tile, like the tiny feathers of an exotic bird. The only sound is the _snip, snip_ of the scissors behind his head.

A few moments later, Haru breaks the silence. "Did you know you and Yuki have the same blood type?"

Kyo's face wrinkles in confusion. "Are you sure? 'Cause that would disprove the belief that blood type determines personality. We are nothing alike."

"I don't know about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's a good thing, though," Haru continues, ignoring the comment, "because Hatori was able to give you a transfusion."

"What?!" Kyo whips his head around, and Kisa lets out a short squeal – followed by a sigh a relief.

"Don't do that," she breathes as she places her hands on either side of his head and turns it back to face the front. He complies, but his expression remains intact.

"You mean to tell me that _Yuki_ gave me a transfusion? That damn rat's blood is running through my veins? I've been tainted by his DNA?!"

"Yes."

"You are too calm about this!"

"He was pretty cool about it, too. Surprisingly willing."

There's a pause. _Snip, snip._

"Really?"

"Yep. It was beautiful."

"Oh, shut up."

"Please stop moving your head," Kisa interjects quietly.

"Really, though," Haru continues. "It was pretty intense. I think most of us were in shock more than anything for a while. Except Kisa. She seemed to get it – what was happening, I mean."

"You were there?" Kyo asks her, surprised.

"Yes," she says quietly. _Snip._

"She was good, too. Kept you awake."

"I was awake?" If he wasn't knocked out, then that meant he wasn't dreaming. There's no way that dream was real, as much as he burned for it to be true. Was he hallucinating?

"You were in and out. But your eyes were open for the most part, and you were talking."

Kyo's eyes go wide. His jaw clenches. And he gulps. His voice is low and monotone as he asks, "What did I say?"

Haru cocks his head to the side, pauses, and answers, "Babbling, mostly," but his voice insinuates a deeper meaning.

A moment passes, and Kyo remembers something.

"_About onee-san?"_

His heart sinks. He remembers something else, this time from his dream.

"_Will you try to stay awake? I want you to stay with me right now, Kyo-kun. I need you to stay with me."_

And Haru: _"She was good, too. Kept you awake."_

"Oh, God," he groans. "I was hallucinating."

"Yep."

"You know, Haru, you aren't very sympathetic."

"Sorry."

"Who all was there?" he asks miserably.

"Me, Kisa, Hiro, Momiji, Yuki, and Hatori, obviously."

"Ugh," Kyo groans, his shoulders sagging.

"Kyo," Kisa pleads.

"Sorry," he mutters and tries again to be as still as possible.


	4. What Sorry Could Be

**For this chapter, the title is borrowed from "What Sorry Could Be" by Aaron Sprinkle. Are you starting to sense a pattern here? Good. You should be. ;) If you've been following this story (you lovely bunch of folks, you!), then I apologize for not updating sooner. I have no grand excuse like a 400+ page midterm paper was due or my dog had some rare, anal disease or something (and I certainly hope neither of those things ever happen ever). The truth is, I've run out of steam for this story so much that I just forgot to update, and I'm sorry. I already have the next four chapters written, and I'll post them if you want, but I have no idea where I'm going with this. There. I said it. So in light of that, if you have any ideas for what ****_could_**** happen, I would be so very happy to hear them. All I have is a very, very vague idea that can be summed up in a three-word sentence, if anyone can guess what that is. It could also be a two-word sentence. Just saying. Well, this has gotten extraordinarily long, so let's get to the story, hm?**

* * *

His journal. One of many black, spiral notebooks strewn about that room. He didn't realize he missed it so much until now, when it's in his hands once again. Martial arts used to be his primary form of expression – letting all his tension and rage be thrust out of him in waves down his arms and legs with every punch, every kick – but with only imaginary opponents, it was soon demoted to a very close second. He still loves martial arts, of course – it will always be close to his heart. But his journals hold so much of him – his soul, on paper. Some pages are filled with ramblings of nothingness, some rants about various irritants, some dreams that come to him in the night. But others hold something deeper. Thoughts, feelings that he doesn't know he could think or feel until they're already on paper. They're not poems, exactly. No, he wouldn't classify them as poems. But they come from deep within his heart, his mind, his soul. He writes these in the "half" parts of the day – half-asleep, half-drunk, half-crazy – when he's not all there, when his conscious mind is no longer in complete control. He wonders what others would think of these pages in particular. He isn't sure what he thinks of them himself. He opens to a new, fresh page, takes up his pencil that has been sharpened so many times it's only two-inches long, and begins to write. This page will hold his dream/hallucination from three nights ago. He's been dying to write it down ever since he woke up.

Momiji is babysitting today. But instead of sitting by the door, he moved the chair by Kyo's hospital bed so now he's right next to him, studying some sheets of music. Momiji has definitely grown. Kyo decided that the moment he saw him. He already had a growth spurt right before Kyo was locked up, but he obviously continued in the same pattern for a least a little while. He hasn't said anything to Kyo since he walked in the door an hour ago. The only acknowledgement he made was giving him the journal, which Kyo was completely okay with. If Momiji didn't feel obligated to speak, then neither did he. So they sat in silence, Kyo upright and cross-legged, bent over his notebook and Momiji lounging with his feet propped up on Kyo's bed.

o.O.o.O.o

"What are you writing?" Momiji asks after an unknown number of hours has passed.

Kyo looks up. He realizes he hasn't stopped scribbling since he opened the notebook. "Oh, I, uh…" He wonders if Momiji has been staring at him for long. The rabbit waits. "Um… Just a dream I had."

"Yeah?" Kyo nods. "Can I see it?"

"Uh… I don't think – "

"Come on, give it here!" Kyo clutches it to his chest, guarding it from the evil, reaching clutches of his cousin. Momiji stops. His eyes narrow. "What are you hiding?" Kyo's mouth drops open a bit. What _is _he hiding? Oh, yeah, his undying love for Tohru. But don't they all know about that already?

"Why do you want to know?" Kyo asks, guarded.

"Ah, so you _are_ hiding something." He leans back into his chair. "You know, Akito won't like that very much if he finds out."

"Screw Akito," Kyo mumbles, his eyes on his paper. When Momiji doesn't answer, he raises his head to look at him. His face is thoughtful as he stares at Kyo. "What?"

"Nothing." Momiji turns back to his pages, as does Kyo after giving him a wary glance. A few minutes pass. Kyo scribbles. Momiji studies.

Then, "Do you remember what I told you before you were locked in that cage?"

Kyo looks at him. Momiji is still staring down at his sheet music. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." His head comes up. "That night that we all came over to Shigure's house and had barbeque-style curry. Tohru made it for us." He says this last statement as if it's of dire importance. Kyo flinches internally. Of course he remembers. Momiji's words confused the hell out of him – and comforted a bit too.

"Yeah." Kyo's eyes are downcast.

"I meant what I said. And I still do. I'm not giving up on the Cat, and I'm not trying to push it out of my mind. Kyo, the only person who wants to be here, living in this house, trapped, is Akito. He's the only one who wants this 'never-ending banquet.' The only other person I can think of is Shigure, but he's a weirdo, and no one can ever really tell what he's thinking." He gauges Kyo's reaction. He doesn't give him one. Momiji purses his lips and says sternly, "I'm getting you out of here."

Kyo almost gets whiplash from how fast his head shoots up. "What?"

Momiji nods. "You heard me. I'm not going to say it again. I don't know how, and I don't know when, but I will. That's my promise to you – and to me and to all the others, even if they don't know because if I can get you out, I can get us all out. We can make our own choices, meet our own friends, have our own adventures. _We can live our own lives_."

Kyo just stares at him for a moment. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"Shh!" He shushes him.

Kyo lowers his voice but only a bit. "What do you plan to do, huh? You gonna dress us all in black and sneak us out the back? You gonna hijack a golf-cart or something and high-tail it out of here? Oh – or are you gonna tie a bunch of bed sheets together and hoist us down the wall to the Outside one by one?"

Momiji's face is stone-cold, his eyes narrowed into slits. "I'll figure out a way. I know the others want out, too, and some of them may even help – "

"You're crazy!"

" – Haru, Kisa, Kagura, Hiro, Rin most definitely – "

"Momiji!"

He stops. "What, do you not want to get out? Because, to me, that's the stupider way to think."

Kyo narrows his eyes. "Don't you dare tell me that I _want_ to be in that hellhole. You think I like it? You think I relish in the thought of going back? Well, I don't. I sit here and I stare out this window, and all I want to do is dive head-first through it because I've been rotting in that cell so long that I've forgotten what the earth feels like. But I can't. You know why? Because Akito won't let me. He has a power over us that no one can understand, not even himself. But it's there, and it's real, and it's never going to go away. I'm surprised you haven't grasped that yet, Momiji. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Wow." Momiji shakes his head in disbelief. "You really have changed, haven't you? I thought you would be all for escaping, the first to sign up. I guess I was wrong. Maybe you don't love Tohru as much as I thought you did."

Kyo tenses, his whole body clenching up and breathing hard, and he forces every single cell in his body to _not _beat the living crap out of this little punk kid who doesn't know anything about anything.

Momiji glances at the clock on the wall. "My shift's almost over. I'll go get your next prison guard." He gets up to leave.

"Momiji." Kyo's voice is steely, his jaw clenched tight. The rabbit turns around, trying to hide his satisfaction. "You don't get it, do you? Even if I _did_ manage to escape, even if I ran away to the farthest possible place from here, it wouldn't be worth it. Akito would blame her, go after her. She would get hurt, and it would be all my fault. You think I haven't thought about this? It's all I think about. Holding her hand, brushing her cheek, hearing her laugh, hearing her _voice_ – that's all I want. But more than that, I want her to be safe. And if I have to sacrifice being with her in order to ensure that, then so be it because being separated from her in life is better than being separated from her in death."

There's a moment of silence as Kyo's words sink in. Momiji takes a breath… nods… and leaves the room.

* * *

**A very dear friend of mine, after reading this chapter and a few to come, said, and I quote, "Momiji might have been a little OOC as per the manga and the anime, but it has to be taken into consideration that he's older now, and being kept from the Outside probably matured him a little bit." And that's exactly what happened. Yeah, he's a little more serious than before, but I feel like even in his most childlike moments, he's always been one of the most mature people in the Zodiac. He just seems to get it, you know? So, anyway, if it seems like he's not quite himself, he's not, not in the way he's portrayed for the most part in the original story. So yeah. I think this side of him has always kind of been there, just hidden underneath all that lovely bunnyfluff.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading! And don't forget to shout out some ideas if you want this to continue! Thanks, loves! :)**


	5. Unforgettable

**In a few moments, you'll meet Kasumi who is a very minor and original character, but who is also crucial to the story. She has a very tender soft spot when it comes to true love and passion and things like that. So, where normally I try to choose songs that fit the mood of the chapter, this time, I chose "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole because I feel like that's how she would view Kyo's love for Tohru. It would probably be one of her favorite songs of all time, haha!**

**And, don't forget, if you want this to keep going, share ideas! I welcome them! :)**

* * *

He stares out the wide window, just stares, adding to the many hours that he's spent doing so during the past four days, lying on his side on the hospital bed. His back is facing Hiro now, who's sitting in the wooden chair and playing some sort of handheld video game, the sounds from it quietly permeating the room. A breeze brushes up some long-dead leaves, lifts them into the air before cradling them back down to the earth. What would that be like? To be lifted by the wind, carried away to someplace else?

"Hey, Kyo, can I ask you a question?" Hiro asks suddenly.

"If I say 'no,' are you going to ask anyway?"

"Why'd you do it?"

Kyo doesn't answer.

"Were you really trying to die? That's what everyone thinks." The video game sounds are becoming increasingly annoying with each personal question that Hiro inquires about so casually.

Kyo sighs. "I already told Hatori about this. Go ask him."

"I tried. He won't say anything. He's super bent on this doctor-patient confidentiality." Kyo scoffs but appreciates Hatori's keeping his word.

"Well, no, I wasn't trying to die necessarily. I'm not even totally sure what happened."

"Mm. Well, I guess that clears it up a little bit, although now I don't get why you did it in the first place."

"Clears what up?"

"Well, we didn't get why you would want to kill yourself if you told Momiji that you'd rather be separated from Tohru in life than in death. Personally, I took that to mean that as long as she's still kicking, you would be, too."

Those clicks and beeps and that stupid music keep gnawing into Kyo's skull like a sadist with a needle.

"He told you that?"

"He figured you weren't exactly telling him in confidence. Said you were more in a rage."

"I guess that's true."

It's quiet again except for the game noises until Kyo sneezes.

"Bless you."

"Thanks."

"You know, they say that whenever you sneeze, it means someone's talking about you."

Kyo scoffs.

o.O.o.O.o

Kyo's caretaker has been with the Sohma family for only four years. She's young, too, only twenty-seven. Her loyalty to the Sohma is slim. It's a gift from God Himself that she was assigned to Kyo, the dirty job that no one else wanted. She's been watching Kyo's downhill tumult for three years now. She'll be easily swayed – hopefully.

Momiji taps his pocket one more time to make sure he still has it before casually strolling into the laundry room. She's alone, folding the clothes of the Zodiac, one of her non-Kyo-related chores. Good; she's alone.

"Hello, Kasumi," Momiji greets her as he closes the door behind him. She turns around, surprised.

"Oh, hello, Momiji-san." The laundry room is a small one-room building made of cinderblocks with a few small windows and a single light bulb dangling from a string. Washers and driers cover the perimeter.

Momiji lifts himself onto one such dryer that's not currently in use next to the washer that Kasumi's using as a flat surface for folding.

"How have you been?" she asks casually.

"Oh, fine. Worried about Kyo." He gauges her reaction. She pauses in her work. It's only for a moment, but it's enough.

"Me, too."

"Why do you think he did it?" Momiji asks, somewhat solemnly.

She keeps her eyes on her work as she shrugs. "I'm not sure. But I can't imagine having to live his life."

"Mm. You should have seen it before. His mom died when he was around five or so, and everyone blamed him for it."

She finally looks up, stunned. "_What?_"

"Yeah. They said having to deal with the Cat for a son is what drove her to jump in front of a train right in front of him."

Kasumi's mouth drops open. "Really?" she breathes. He nods. "Wow…" She looks far off as if trying to imagine the trauma that would induce on such a small child, wondering what it was like. After a moment, she goes back to folding, slower now.

"Yeah. It's hard on all of us, this curse, but the Cat especially." He pauses. "Has anyone told you about Tohru?"

Kasumi thinks. "No, I don't believe so."

"She's wonderful. She touched all of us in a way that I don't think anyone can explain. She's the same age as Yuki and Kyo and lived with Shigure for a while – you know, while we were still Outside – until they graduated, when she was ripped out of their lives, so she knew about the curse. But for some reason, Akito let her stay there. I'm not sure why… He hates her, you know."

"Really? Why?"

"Because we love her more than him," he answers nonchalantly.

"Oh," Kasumi replies, a little surprised at his bluntness.

"You now Kyo's true form?"

"I've heard about it, yes."

"But have you _seen_ it?"

"Oh, no, I've never had that opportunity."

"Good. Because you don't want to. But Tohru saw it and went after him anyway. She accepted him in a way that he thought no one ever could, not even his own mother." Kasumi's hands slow to a stop. She just listens. "He's head-over-heals for her, and everyone knows it, and no one's surprised. But what no one can figure out is why _she's_ in love with _him_."

Kasumi's face is an expression of shock that quickly morphs into one that is in direct proportion to just how heartwarming she finds this statement. She places her hand over her heart as if trying to keep it from swelling out of her chest.

_"Really?"_

Momiji nods, smiling knowingly but trying not to grin. At this rate, the Cat would be released in no time at all.

"That's wonderful!"

"Yeah." Momiji's face falls strategically. "But she's out there," he gestures in front of himself, seemingly encompassing the entire outside world, "and he's stuck in here."

"Oh, you're right." Kasumi's face falls as well. "That's awful."

"I know."

"Wow… I've never thought it was fair for him to be in there, and I've never really understood it, but… I wish I could do something."

Bingo!

Momiji has to fight to restrain his glee. "Do you really want to do something?"

"Oh, yes, of course! Although, there's nothing really I _can_ do."

"Um, I'm not so sure about that."

Kasumi looks at him, confused. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, folded up into a square.

"You can go Outside."

She blinks.

"Will you take this to Tohru?"

Her jaw drops a bit, her eyes wide. But when she reaches for the note, Momiji pulls it back.

"I have to know without doubt that I can trust you," he whispers, his face close to hers. "This is dangerous. We Zodiac aren't allowed any contact to the outside world." Kasumi nods. "If we get caught, we're both in serious trouble. Are you sure?"

She sets her mouth, looks hard at the note, thinks, and nods once. "Yes. Yes, I'm sure."

"Good. But before I give you this, I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

"You _can't_ read it."

The very first flash of suspicion crosses her features. "Why not?"

Momiji looks her hard in the face.

"If you really want to help Kyo, then the less you know the better." She narrows her eyes and looks at him warily. "Kasumi. I need your help. You're the only one I can trust to do this. Am I right to trust you?"

Her face softens just a bit. "Yes."

"Then promise me you _won't_ read it."

She looks him in the eye and nods hard. "I promise."

"Okay. Thank you. This is what you need to do…" And he hands her the note.

* * *

**Told you she would like "Unforgettable." :3**


End file.
